Enemies?

I guess I have a lot of people who hate me. I don't notice probably because I don't care, and I have a lot of other friends that love me. This whole thing came out of an argument with Coti of course, because anything that is negatively said about me can be traced back to him... Do the math. He is all pissed about a warning message I sent to his naive new girlfriend because shes acting just the way I did when Coti and I began our relationship. He's going into this thing with good intentions, but as soon as she starts annoying him, or pushing for the truth in any instance, hes going to treat her like shit and bolt as soon as he can't cover the lies anymore. Poor Andrea will be heartbroken. I don't have the heart to say things like " the only reason he asked you out is to feel less like an asshole, and he knew you would say yes" its true but I'm not that heartless. Poor thing though, she wouldn't believe me, shes going to believe his cowardly way of dealing with his past and making up things that once again make him feel like less of an asshole.
I wouldn't wish my pain from my engagement breaking off on my worst enemy. I can't hear his name without either crying or saying something mean about him. One minute he's saying I love you muffin at every opportunity, the next I'm a mistake and a looser. Andrea doesn't think it will happen to her and neither did I.
Coti needs to get out of my life. I want my apology, my dignity, my shit, and my virginity back. After that I want him gone. He's dating Andrea to piss me off, and he sits around in the office to piss me off. No one wants him in Masque, we don't need him and he does nothing but piss people off. I am done with listening to his lies about what people are saying about me, and I'm sorry we almost had a baby. He should just leave the girls alone, but of course he's too selfish to do that, and grow up and get his life together. I feel bad for Andrea, she doesn't have the confidence to realize his other relationship isn't over until he can be a man and end it to my face, and give him a few months to think about everything. It's better for both of them.

I won't apologize anymore. I do it over and over, and nothing fixes anything. I want an apology. I gave everything to him, and whenever I try to make things better he snaps at me, runs away or tells me lies about what has been said about me.
I want another chance. I want to fix things. I want to want to live.

I am bettering myself. I take my meds now, I go to counciling twice a week, and I have gone on a few dates. I did everything he asked me to do so we could fix things and I feel improved. Thats the last thing I'll say.